Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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