none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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