I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
