yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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