just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
