Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
