I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
