I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
