I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my being single is dangerous.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
