Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
