false alarm. still invincible.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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