Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
