Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
