did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
