He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
