so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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