somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
