Im at strip club and am horny
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
