it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
