dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
