This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
