so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
