Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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