is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
