U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
