Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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