this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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