but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize