i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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