He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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