I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
