you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
