she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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