There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
