Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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