i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
