He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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