There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
