She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
