I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
