When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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