Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
