i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
