I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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