Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
