oh god the rape fog is back!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
