he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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