maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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