the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
