For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
