i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize