Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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